about love

So there's a boy that I truly truly love and it's Brandon. Brandon Brandon Brandon. He hates his name :( wah. I love it. I love him. Hands down, thee best boyfriend I've ever had. He makes me smile alll the time with his cuteness and rudeness, haha. Our love is reallly great cause we can be serious, and we can also be fun and joke around with each other. It's sooo cute when he's sad, cause he just acts like a little boy and pouts. Haha. We don't tryy to upset each other, but it just happens. We argue a lot. Like A LOT A LOT. But it's never for long and it's never enough to just end things. I realllly want to spend forever with him. It doesn't matter what we'd be doing, as long as I'm with him. He makes me feel so special and I know he'd do anythingg for me. Seeing him just makes my day. When I come home from work, I just want to come home to him and just sleep. I cannot wait until we live in a nice house with our kids running around and our doggies. It'll be perfect. That's prettty much the only reason why I want to grow up. People might say that we're too young, or that we don't know what love is, or that we'll break up or whatever. I honestly don'tt care. There are people that have been trying to break us up and it's obviously not working. There's really noo way to describe our love, but what we have is real. I thought I was in love before, but it's seriously nothingg compared to this.I'm not trying to be dramatic or anything, but I don't know what I'd do without him. Seriously. It's kinda scary planning our future out cause you never know what could happen, but one thing's for sure, he'll always be there. In my other relationships, they don't last long at all. But in 10 years, we'll be together. I promise. We promised each forever, and it's going to be that way. I like how he cares for his family, actually tries in school unlike some guys, knows what he wants in life, buys me stuff :), loves me when I'm nerdy or upset + mad at him or have sores on my face. Hahaha. It's such a good feeling having someone who loves you. I can't even explain it. Someone asked me that if his arm got cut off or something if I'd still love him + be with him. And yes I would. I definitely would. He's thee best thing in my life and he's one of the few people I know who would never leave me. I can't say that he's perfect, cause he'd definitely not, but he's so perfect to me. He'll do whatever I tell him to, Haha. Cause I'm boss. Jk. I'm not a serious person, so it's nice having someone to joke around with. I'm glad that I can be the one who gets to love him, care for him, help him, be his bitch when there are a bunch of other girls who'd probably do things 10x better then I can. I know I make him upset a lot, but we only argue cause we love each other. If there was no argueing and everything was all calm and mellow, I don't think that'd get anywhere. Looking back, I don't know how I had a life without him. It's weird that one day you meet someone and you don't know how you survived without them. We're going on 8 months and he stilll makes me smile from ear to ear, stilll makes me get butterflies, still makes me want to impress him, still makes me thee luckiest girl. It's very surreal. We're honestly just 2 people who's lucky enough find each other and are willing to spend the rest of their lives together. I know we're young, but who cares. If it's love, you know it. We go through hard times cause of some obstacles, AKA my parents, but we get through it. We can get through anythingg. We don't see each other enough, but we make it work. There are other couples who have it worse. I have made mistakes in the past that if he were to do it to me, I don't know if I'd take him back, but he took me back. He loves mee :) I can't wait for us to just live our life together and love one another. I don't care what we do, as long as we're together. He's such a perfect match for me and I don't think there's anyone else out there like him. :) Together forever. That's us. <3

various pictures-

not important

Yay! I got questions on form spring. Lots of them. From the same person.
What's your favorite holiday?
Christmas, of coursee. I like present. Lol. And how a lot of people are in the spirit and how it brings everyone together.
What makes you smile on a bad day?
Friends can make me smile, especiallly the boyfriend. He can always cheer me up :) And tv shows. I love a good episode.
What's your favorite color?
PURPLE ! then yellow, then gold. My room's purple + gold :)
How many people in this world do you trust?
Haha, is there another world? I'd say about 10 or so. I don't trust that many people except for close friends + family.
What's your favorite clothing store?
I don't have one. I like forever21, but like, who doesn't.
Do you know why you love someone?
I'd love someone if they made me smile, happy, made me just want to hold them, loves me for me, helps me with stuff, makes me a bettter person. Therefore, I love Brandon.
What kind of perfume do you use?
I don't use perfume. I use this smelly goodness from VS. I need to get some Marc Jacobs Daisy though. That's now gonna be on my WANT list.
Where do you wish you were right now?
I wish that I was in a far away place with Brandon. Maybee, Tahiti! Yay. :)
more questions? ASK AWAY.
Emeline's currently showering, then we're headed off to churchy. Then, idk. Probably ironning my mom's clothes -_- Had work yesterday. Twas alright. Worked with Amanda + had some good laughhs. I have so much homework :( I hate school.

mm whatcha say

Sooo, I got 2 things on formspring, both from the bf. Haha.
delete this. & do you like me?
I want some legit questions! Lol.
FORMSPRING ME

+ yes, I love you <3 I got my senior picture orders today. I didn't get many pictures, just wallets and 2 other pictures, but I can always just print them off at Costco or something. So idk if Sophie can be in my yearbook picture, but I really hope she can. Haha. Julia's senior pictures are so cute! I love them. Especially the ones with her + Jackson. It's really adorable. I also got $25 for referring someone to Jackie. For senior inquiry, we need to write a paper on something we believe in and I'm writing about believing in karma. It's a good topic I think. I deleted my myspace a few weeks ago. I don't think I mentioned it on here, but I did. And it feels preettty good. I'm waiting for a supreme hat to come for Brandon <3 It's cute I suppose. Should come in around Tuesday.

OH YEAH. MY HAIR. It's soooo short. But it's how I wanted. I just can't believe how short it is. She didn't cut it very even though so I'm going back on Thursday to even it out and get it thinned out, and possibly layers, long layers. Then I'm thinking about dying part of it. I just don't know what though yet. Sorry about the gayness.

On Friday, Kim, Kathy, and I are gonna watch Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. Haha, I cannnot wait. Then we're gonna go to the football game and wear our snuggies. Hahaha. I'm so excited. I hope it's cold cause it's gonna be bad sweating. Hahah, eww. Julia's also visiting this weekend :) I missss her!

Can you meet me halfway right at the borderline?
That's where I'm gonna wait for you.
- Black Eyed Peas

form spring

Just made a form spring, soo ask me a question :)
F O R M S P R I N G
Pictures from camp a month ago. Dust spot is from Denny's gay camera.

oh happy day

I finallly saw Brandon today after not seeing him for a week. I really missed him. A lot a lot :) He was so cute in his V neck. Haha. His room looked really good too since he switched rooms. There's a cute little couch and a table. Anyway, that girl stilll keeps calling. So dumb. Seriously, GET A LIFEE. Here's some pictures that I forgot to post. Aboutt the first one, he hit mee. Soo, I hurt him. :)








my beautiful bestt.

he's sooooo cute.
See the flowery bag in the pictures? Some girl at school has it and wears it everyday so now I can never wear it :( Sigh. It's such a cute bag. I love flower patterns. So Taylor's litttle birthday shindig is tonight. I decided to just stay in + talk to Brandon, watch a movie by myself, do some homework. Haha. Getting my haircut tomorrow @ 12. I'm excited, but also scared. Who knows how well it's going to turn out. Then @ 6 I have work until close. Kinda scared about work since what happened last time. School's going pretty good I guess. There's an essay for senior inq about something we believe in. I have noo idea what I'm going to write. I hope Julia visits soon! :( I mish her. So, I'm going to apply at PSU and UO. Guesss I'm staying in Oregon for college. It'll be goood. Saving lots of money. Taking the SATs on October 10. I got some study books from the library so I can get a good test score. Lol. Kathy and I are trying to recruit people to apply at Regal since we don't want that many days to work anymoree. I seriously just want 1 day a week. Other people at school want jobs + to work all the time like Alana, Vinny, Randy, Kim, Nicole, Ray. They better alll apply. Emeline should apply too. It'd be so fun if more people that I know worked there. Jennifer's Body comes out this week. Probably just gonna watch it for Megan Fox. Haha, hotttttie.

"Fate determines who walks into your life but you decide who you let walk out, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let get away."

hello beautiful

That is so precious. Even though I know nothing about cars, the exterior is just amazing. The shape of it just speechless. I don't even know what to say except I wanna drive that someday. I wonder how much it costs. And look at the doors. Seriously, this car is a beauty. I want it. Jk, I don't really care. But that would be really nicee. I'm wondering when will we have flying cars? I hope in the next 20 years because I need to fly one when I'm still brave. We had to ask philosophical questions and I thought about cars. Even though Brandon doesn't think Kid Cudi's album is that good, I like itt. I need to download the songs on my Ipod. I applied at University of Portland a few days ago, but Ms. Parich won't fill out my recommendation until I fill out this paper for her. God, senior year is stressful. Kathy and I are doing a senior project together, but we just don't know what yet. Something with children maybe. And somee organization.

home for now

My pops and I had a talk and we just talked things over and let the past be the past and I'm just gonna see how things go. I still want to live with him someday though. :) Anywho, today's our 7 months :) How cute. Haha. I like itt. The start to senior year has been alright. It's nothing great. The classes are just there. I don't think there's a class that I really enjoy. I don't have a favorite class or anything like that. My school ID looks really bad though. I look sooo pale. But so does a lot of people. Too much flash, I'm guessing. The first football game was last week or so and we won, surprisingly against Crook County. Doesn't it sound like a jail? I think so. At school, there's so many familiar faces, but I can barely remember their names. I don't really pay much attention. Kathy came over Thursday to make senior shirts for the spirit assembly on Friday. The front side of the shirt looks good, but the back doesn't. Well for me anyway since the white spray paint didn't work. Sigh. It would've looked SO badass too. My aunt randomly came from California that night without telling my parents or me or anything and it was kinda fun. Really weird. I think she wanted to stop me from going or somethingg. She brought me In N Out :) Friday, my parents and her picked me up from school and we headed off the Woodburn. I spent a lot more money there then I usuallly would. Got Sophie some treats and this dental kit. Got my aunt a Coach Wallet. Got myself dress shoes, and a top from White House Black Market. It makes me look a lot older. Lol. Then afterwards we went to eat at the Fish Grotto in Portland near Powell's. Twas pretty good. The place was tiny, but there weren't that many people anyway so things worked out. So in Powell's, there's this book about where famous people are buried and how they died. It was pretty interesting. I kinda wanted to buy it. But that's kinda creepy. Then that night, I saw Time Traveler's Wife with my aunt. Brought my snuggie in. Haha. The movie was pretty confusing. I still need to wikipedia it so I can understand it. It wasn't that great though. On Saturday, my aunt, dad, and I went to Ihop in the morning then took my aunt to the airport. She had to like book it to her gate though since they were boarding soon. Then I watched District 9 with Brandon then went to Red Robin to eatt. Uhm, didn't like the movie. I'm not really into the whole aliens and outer space thing. Idk, it was weird. Then at 6 I had to work until closingg. Sunday, work called and woke me up and then called me in cause DeeJay did a no call no show. Greatt. I got written up cause I took a long break and clocked in, but didn't work. Haha. Lame. Oh welll. Hung out with Brandon on my break which was nice. He got me a planner and Panda Express. Whata nice guy. The only homework I've really gotten was math. AP Stats is so boring. I seriously want to fall asleep everytimee. Sigh sigh.
Oh, I'm gonna get my hair cut this weekend. Like the picture I posted of Nicole Richie earlier. I hope it turns out good. If not, idk what I'm gonna do. Going to be a very big change. I'm excited. I want to add color into it. Maybe I will. I guess Sophie lost one of her tooth. Haha, idk what happened. What if she swallowed it? That'd be terrible. Math hw time, cyaa. To whoever's calling Brandon and Ray- STOP CALLING AND SAYING I'M CHEATING ON BRANDON. IT'S STUPID AND YOU'RE JUST WASTING YOUR TIME.

this or that

What an intense past few days. Big decisions are being made and I'm seriously torn between my options. Option one is to stay with my parents and have them pay for me for college and pretty much all my necessities, but not really being able to see Brandon all that much. Option two is to stay with Brandon, but college is gonna be a struggle, and I won't talk to my parents at all, and I'd have to pretty much pay for things myself. Option one is the more logical choice, I know. But being with Brandon honestly feels soo right. I want to be able to see him everyday, not even like having to do anything, but just like, eating with him, or watching TV, just like if we'd live together, and we could, which is the scary part. I could throw away everything I have and start over, without my parents. I'd have to grow up so fast and be a lot more mature and not dependent on anyone. Do I want to do this for love? I have until Friday to make this life changing decision. So yesterday my mom went to his house to talk to his parents. After lots of tears and screams, I told them that I wanted to stay with Brandon. Bunch of more shit happened and eventually, I went home at like midnight while still having to go to school today. Brandon's dad told me to make me decision by Friday and if I want to stay with them, then I can. And if I want to stay with my parents, then I can. I'm really leaning towards to being with Brandon. But I don't want to lose my family. My whole family would probably just hate me, and I mean my wholeee family - aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. They'll probably think I'm a disgrace or an embarrassment to the family or something. My mom probably told my aunts what my decision was and stuff already. I would definitely not be surprised. It sounds insane. Me leaving my parents who raised me and bought me everything and loved me and supported me for my boyfriend who loves me. Like I said, it's not logical, it's going to be tough, it's going to be a struggle. But it does feel right. I know Brandon won't leave me. We seriously love each other soo much and I can't even imagine my life without him. I'm only 17, and I can't believe I'm gonna be making this big of a choice. Friday night, when I make up my mind. Wish me luck.

don't leave me

There's really only 2 people who I absolutely care about, besides for my family and that's Julia and Brandon.
Though I haven't known Julia for years + years like some people, we still do have history. She gets me, I get her. It's nice to have someone you can talk to about stuff, and it's gonna be so sad when she's gone. Idk who I'm gonna talk to. Probably still her since she knows what goes on in my life and she's just a phone call away. Really though, 2 hours isn't that far. Now that I have my license, who knows what I can do. Just about anythingg, yay. All I need is a car .. :) She's the only best friend I've had since 2nd grade and that girl moved too ! I like how we can have a serious talk, but also like, not. Lol. She gets what I say and she doesn't judge me or make me feel uncomfortable. Even if some things are weirdd, she'll get it. I hope she doesn't find a new best friend in Eugene. :( Betttter not. Good thing she'll be able to visit once a month or something. Then we can have our sleepovers like usual and take 92832 pictures. I love her, a lot a lot.
Soo, Brandon. Brandon Brandon Brandon. He hates his name. Cutie. I've never met anyone who I can be so comfortable with or say whatever I want to. It's seriously such a good feeling. Our 7 months is coming up :) How exciting. Definitely my longest since like, 3 months ago. It's weird cause we're from different worlds and environments and it's like fatee, or something. If only I stayed at Northcutt for a few more years, then I probably would've met him. Don't think he would've liked me though. Haha. And how he knows some of my family in California. Smalll world. He's honestly thee best boyfriend I've had and he makes me smile all the time and gives me cute things. We do have our differences though. Everyday -_- Noo joke. Probably like a month into our relationship, we've argued every single day since then. Most of the time, it's reallly dumb. We can get through anythingg though. Summer was great seeing him practically everyday. It's gonna be kinda hard during the school year, but we'll figure something out. Like I said, we can get through anything. We're young, but I do plan on being with him forever. That's such a long time, but it just feels so right. Being the last person he talks to at night, waking up to him, doing nothing with him, doing everything with him, having our cute little kids running around. It just seems perfect. I reallly can't wait til we can finally spend the rest of our lives together. <3
I could live my life with just those 2 by my side. Having someone who you can talk to about anything and just being your girlfriend, and having someone who loves you and will be with you through it all, it's amazing. They're seriously all I need. Everyone else is just there. Sowwyy. OH YEAH, to whoever called Brandon and told him I'm cheating on him. STFU, seriously. It's fucking dumb how people would just try and ruin relationships and even worse, it's not even true. Dumb bitch.

one more week

It's early and I'm waiting for cutieeeee to come over. AKA le boyfriend :) I'm not even kidding, he's super cute. So today, I'm going to take my driver's test in Beaverton @ 2. I AM SO SCARED. I can drive good, but it just seems scary having to be tested for it. I still haven't taken my written one. Yesterday I had to work and went out to eat with Denny @ Red Robin. Twas delish yes. Guess I'll see him next year or something. Wah. Then Brandon came and just watched me work and kept me company. Afterwards, we saw Final Destination in 3D. I liked the whole 3D idea, but the movie was just kinda dumb overall. Why can't everything just be happy? I really want to see, Time Traveler's Wife, PostGrad, and District 9. Maybe Julia will see it with me todayy. Tomorrow's our first football game, but it's pre-season. We might win. Idk. Hopefully. Haha. One of these days, Kim and I are gonna go in our snuggies. I love us. We're so embarassing/funny. Mariah's last day to work is next Monday :( KATHY AND I ARE SO SAD. I don't want her to go because it's seriously soo funny when we work together. Everything is just fun. I'm gonna try to switch shifts with someone since I work the morning shift, and she works the night one, so we can close together. I hope it works out. It'd be soo fun. When school starts, I'm only gonna work weekends. Wish I could make more money, but I guess it's alright. 4 more chapters to go in my Malcolm X book. Those chapters are like 20-30 pages long. It's so insane. and the Epilogue is RIDICULOUSLY long. It could be a whole nother book. I have 1 week to read it and find 2 more good quotes. How stressful. I think I'm going to delete my myspace soon. I don't like it at all. I know everyone says this, but Facebook is the better choice. It's just so much more simpler and less shtufff. This blog's going to be short. BYE.

happy birthday

University of Portland is soo pretty. The tour guide wasn't as good at the one at U of O, but twas alright. The campus is really nice and clean. Makes sense for a private school. I'm planning to apply, but I need to raise my SAT and/or ACT scores. I'll probably do both. After the tour, I had work at 530. I thought I was going to work with Mariah, but she was door and I was concessions. Sad :( But at least we had break together. Closed at around 12, then the next door, opened at 1045. Brandon came after I was done and we watched part of Goods. It was actually pretty funny. Brandon came over the morning after that and sorta helped me pack for camp with Emeline. It was only 3 days, but twas pretty fun. We did a lot of activities and Denny was my camp leader for the most part. It was good after not seeing him for 3 years ! Ridiculous. We should all vow to go next year or something. There were 12 groups and since our team flag was orange, our team name was TEAMO NEMO. It was cuute. + so was our chant. Lol. But when Denny decided to pour water on Thien, it went on the flag too, so it was all smeary and people called us TEAMO EMO NEMO, or something like that. Duc didn't go -_- Jerk. When he pretty much promised that he would. Oh well, still fine without him. We did some games when it was misting, but it wasn't that bad. We had to wake up at 7 and curfer was at 1. At night, we played cards with our new friends, Francis, Antony, Andy. On Saturday, we did a bunch of games. There were 12 different stations which had bow + arrow, mind sweeper, tug of war, frozen t-shirt. Just a lott. Oh and can't forget the water fight. I was soaked. Twas kinda disgusting, but fun though. The last day was alright. Didn't do much. Played kickball. I thought it was going to be easy. It wasn't. Then I fell on my face :( and didn't have to play anymore, yayy. I got home at atound 330, then had to pick out my sr. pics at 430, then had work at 6. Overall, a busy day. I didn't get home from work until 1 :(

Today's my dad's birthday. I really want to go eat at Todai, but he doesn't want to :( Sigh. I made him cupcakes & will give him money, I guess. Work at 1045 tomorrow, then movie with Brandon. :) My best friend, Julia, is moving to Eugene. 2 hours away :( I reallly really don't want her to go, but she can't handle it heree. Our friendship will definitely still stay strong <3 I love her, soo much. I think I'm going to get a hair cut a week or so after school starts. But I'm really scaredd. Watched Sex and the City the movie today. I MISS THEM :( Twas pretty good. I really really liked the show. Can't wait for Gossip Girl though :)